Oh Winter, it’s been lovely but it’s really time you move along. I am SO beyond ready for Spring and even more so now that we’ve seen a little sneak peek this past week. I’m ready for flowers, crisp air, green grass, blue skies and long walks at the park. I will say, near the end of every season I am usually ready for the next one to begin. I crave the newness that each season brings as well as the memories that come with each. As I reflect on the seasons in nature I realize that I have not always been so welcoming to new seasons that have occurred in my life. Let’s just say there was one thing that I had a hard time dealing with.
Change. That word can be so scary, and yet so exciting. Growing up, I struggled greatly with the concept of change. I remember not even liking it when my mom switched out my pillow cases or put up new curtains. There’s just so much comfortability in the familiar and constant. When change comes, it can bring great things and not so great things. I don’t know where this fear or discomfort with change came from, but it was a burden in my life for so long. I would get so anxious and worrisome over change that it was paralyzing at times. I can remember so many days as a sixth grader when I just dreaded having to get up and go to school, to the point where I missed many school days due to my anxiety.
It wasn’t until my freshman year in college that I truly began to accept change and embrace the unknown of the future. To this day, one of my favorite places on earth is the prayer chapel that was on my college campus. I remember nights where I would just sit on the floor in that chapel praying and asking for the worries and anxiety to be taken from me. I sought peace for my life. And you know what? I finally had peace. Ever since that first year at college I have just had an overwhelming sense of peace in my life. No matter what change comes my way I know that there are important plans in store for me.
This past year my husband and I had to undergo A LOT of change. Many times change comes when we least expect it. We were loving our life and enjoying where we were at. One day an opportunity arose for us to move to Hartford, Connecticut. At first we were thinking, “Nah, we’re good! We’re happy!” But little by little our hearts began to shift. Honestly the thought of moving away from our church, family, friends, jobs, and starting a whole new life SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME. Excuse my french. I was terrified of all the change that would occur, and yet I knew that this change was right for us.
Even after we made the decision to move, I wondered what life would look like for us. I had to tell myself, “Don’t let your fear of change outweigh your desire for new possibilities.” There was so much incredible newness in store for us and I could have let my fear take over, but I didn’t. Loving where I am now, I can look back on everything and be reminded that when we embrace the change we live by faith and trust rather than letting worry and anxiety make our decisions for us. Living with a sense of peace is much more enjoyable after all.
That being said, Spring, I am so ready for you. And life, bring on the change!