Ahh. My favorite time of night. It’s magical! Clark, Beyonce, Jay-Z, and Blue are all asleep in our bed and the entire house is dark and quiet. And yes, the latter three names are the feline versions not human. I LOVE this time of night. Everything is still. There is a certain comfort in knowing everyone is at peace asleep and safe in their bed. They are getting the rest they need and alas… I am up writing. There are no distractions. No one tugging on my arm asking for something. No phone calls I need to take care of or people to attend to. There will be no more house chores or cleaning done today. Just me, the dark glimmering sky, my laptop, and a good (or sometimes bad) idea or two. This is when the real creativity begins! Thought provoking topics arise from my mental queue that I’ve been storing up for this moment.
Okay, now I have to go the bathroom… but if I move right now the cats will have to move and the chances of them returning to their sleeping positions is slim to none. The eternal struggle of a cat owner (or maybe you have an actual child in your bed LOL)… do I wake them? Ugh, I just gotta get up and go for it. Update: I have returned from the bathroom to the bed and to a feline free environment but the remaining human has turned up the level of snore. Le sigh.
Even though I’m tired I find this time of night so much easier to write than during the day. At night I can write a lot but usually have to edit the following day. Which is fine because you have to edit regardless, right? This way there is some space in between writing and editing which gives me a clearer perspective to catch errors or babbling sentences. At night everything just pours out no holds bar. I have to admit, what I often think is “genius” at 1am has quite a few typos come my morning proof read or things are communicated out of order. I usually end up saying to myself “…what in the world! I was much more exhausted than I thought” and let out a funny little self deprecating chuckle. I shake my head and get back to editing. In a nut shell that’s my creative process. I then spend far too much time creating a feature image for the blog post. The struggle. #bloggerprobz #21stcenturyprobz
Morning is generally an awful time too. No one wants to get up and be a functioning adult in the early hours! Come on. Can’t we all just agree? You morning people are unreal! Never mind my creative juices have disappeared, but I literarily cannot use my brain for any function other than deciding how badly I have to pee and if I should get up. “Is it too early to wake up for the day?” I ask myself. I usually have to pee somewhere in between 5am – 8am hours and it wakes me up (smh). Of course it’s much harder to go back to sleep after I’ve gotten out of bed. Is anyone else thinking I may have some undiagnosed bladder issues after reading this post?! Geez.
There are just so many great things about the night. I feel like my soul comes alive! It is easier to be “the real me” like my truest authentic self. It’s safe. It is easier to be honest with myself and take a good hard look at my life and desicions. My writing at this time is typically deeply revealing. Reading it and processing my thoughts through the entire editing process is a realization! During the day time it’s too often “go go go” and a lot harder to sort out all your thoughts. There is so much going on, so much work to do, and people/cats/chores to attend to. Taking a moment to slow down during the day is hard enough. Never mind get deep. It’s always a treasure when there is a moment in an afternoon where I can even be in one place at one time and focus on one thing. When does that ever happen though? Better yet a moment for ME like reading a chapter in my book or taking a refreshing walk along the beach. Those moments are to be cherished and I certainly desire to make them more frequent in my attempts to live a healthy balanced life. That’s my goal! I want to set that healthy example for my children. Okay, I’m getting off topic aren’t I?
Still, I can’t imagine finding myself at a better time and stealing away into the night to experience some therapeutic moments of blogging. Whenever I try doing a “real talk” post during the day it isn’t quite the same. I think part of the reason why I’m excited to write at night is because this habit has all been apart of my journey to be content with myself. We all have things we’ve been told are negative qualities about ourselves or maybe even believed it ourselves. I have always been a night owl no matter how many times I’ve tried not to be. I’ve had parents, teachers, doctors, relatives, friends, and random people even tell me that sleeping in or staying up late is irresponsible, isn’t adult like, is stupid, is unhealthy, is lazy, won’t work in real life, and the list goes on. Of course it’s absolutely true I can’t be up all night writing all the time because I do have an adult life of working, jobs, responsibilities, and people to take care of. Yet, this one characteristic is representative of the many things about me that I was made to feel isn’t “normal” or adequate. As young people we already grow up having so many insecurities about ourselves… all we want to do is be successful or even just “be okay”. I’ve had to change a few bad habits certainly, but overall I’ve come to realize it’s more important to know myself. I’ve had to be honest enough with myself to know when I need to change something or when I just need to brush the haters off and make it work (insert Tim Gunn meme)!
It’s most important to know myself and be okay with who I find. Even if I find something I want / need to change, it’s a good transformation so it’s positive! It doesn’t feel like someone telling me that who I am isn’t good enough. I’ve put years into becoming me. I’ve turned some negative qualities into positive qualities by transforming it into something workable and innovative to fit my lifestyle and schedule. As a young person, rather than being told I could become lazy I wish someone in leadership told me that I could use my creativity in a productive way and help me come up with a better plan to do so. I think that’s part of why I will be a life long mentor to teenagers. We need to be telling our teenagers (male and female alike) that God created them unique with a different set of talents and abilities than their friends to fit their unique calling. Their path may not fit the typical mold or look like the average journey.Scripture backs this idea up in Romans 12:6 saying “We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us…” We can teach young people to be responsible AND be imaginative. Find out what their giftings are and encourage them. We can tell them that being healthy is also about finding a positive outlet for their creativity that is safe. The safest time for me to write is at night, but not the night before a big test or important work event. I can be a responsible functioning adult and still express my creativity and bring in new ideas to society.
So, when do you feel at your best creatively? How well do you know yourself?