Summer time is quickly approaching…and you know what that means! It’ll soon be time to put on that good ole bikini again. Or will it?
I find myself struggling with the idea of putting on my bikini this summer. I feel like I’ve come to that place in my life where I don’t have the “beach bod” I had when I was 17. I know, I know, that’s totally normal and rarely do women stay the same size they were as a teenager. And I understand that it’s really up to me to make the changes necessary to get back in shape, eat healthy, and lose some of that college and marriage weight. I’m a pretty confident person over all, and have good self-esteem, but still have my days that aren’t as good as others. But are my apprehensions in wearing my bikini only because I’m not the skinny-mini I once was? Hhhhmmm. That’s a good question.
Okay, so let’s explore this for a minute. When I think about going to the beach with my husband, would I wear my bikini? Absolutely! And going to the beach with just my girlfriends? Yea, I would wear it. But then when I think about going to the beach with a group of friends, including guys, I’m not so sure. I become very uncomfortable with the thought of wearing my bikini in that setting. But why?!?! I’ve never questioned it before. Is it because I’m married now? Maybe I’m a little more protective of how much I show and what i’m showing men that are not my husband. And it’s sort of silly seeing as other men at the beach would see me in my bikini even if I went with my hubby or my girls. So what’s the deal?
After pondering these questions to myself, I still don’t know if I have a very good answer, or an answer at all really. All I know is that I will not let this bikini battle ruin my love for the beach! I bounced this thought off my friend and she felt the same way! I think that if I was skinnier maybe I wouldn’t think twice about it? But that makes me question myself, because should it matter if I’m bigger than I used to be? Are there requirements for who should be allowed to wear a bikini?!?! Of course not. I mean if someone came to me and was in exact same shoes, I would probably say “Well who cares what other people think!” But that doesn’t really change the way I’m feeling.
You might be reading this and thinking, “Quit your whining and just buy a one piece!!!!” Well, there’s my next problem. I don’t really like wearing a one piece, mainly because I’m so tall and long that one pieces tend to never fit me right and give me non-stop wedgies. That’s no fun. Also, I love to lay out and get tan [yes, bad for me, I know, but I loooove it!]. Plus, I just like the overall look of a bikini much more. Not to mention the fact that the good Lord did not “endow” me as well as he did other females, so one-pieces tend to flatten out my chest.
Some of these thoughts may have actual reasoning to them and some might be a little silly. But I guess in the end, I just wanna wear my bikini and not care! But I do care sometimes. So…[drum roll please] I came to a conclusion. A cover-up! Genius, I know. [note my sarcasm] I figured, on those beach days with my hubby or girlfriends I can wear my bikini and not worry. But on those days when I’m not feeling so great about rocking my bikini, I will just throw on my cover up and sunnies with no worries!
And you know what? Maybe I’ll get to the beach this summer and feel completely different than I feel now. And that’s okay too. In the end, I know I should do whatever makes me feel best and most comfortable. The rest will work itself out. That would be my advice to anyone else feeling this bikini battle.
Is anyone else out there having these funny feelings and somewhat crazy ideas and thoughts about your bikini? What are your thoughts? Advice?